Invent a new season and how it affects the world.

Vadym Yudenko

Over the last decades, scientists have been closely observing changes in the

nature. And only recently they have came to the realization that we might need a

new season. In 2017, a team of mathematicians have concluded that the best time to

squeeze in the brand new season would be in between winter and spring. Receiving

the Not-so- Nobel prize for their discovery the scientists have reached out to William

Shake, a professional in naming things, and asked him to shake his brain to devise a

proper name for a newborn time of a year. After months of insomnia, blood, tears,

and sweat he returned from his cave to introduce officially that a new season would

be named Sprinter.


I know what you’re thinking: “What a goofy William”. I know, right. But he

got some aces up his sleave. He wanted people to buy more sprinters (cars), so he

has contributed to the rising demand on those cars today. I mean, he wasn’t working

for peanuts, so that’s why it took so long to come up with the name.

Why don’t we just leave this guy alone and take a closer look at the way

Sprinter affects the world? This new season is very peculiar. It’s the time of

inconceivable events that even a smartass can’t comprehend. During this season,

which is relatively short compared to the other four, all winter animals are alive and

kicking. Even bears and hedgehogs wake up because the sunrays knock on their

eyerisses. The bear is mad, because he hasn’t slept enough yet. He steps outside of

his shelter and witnesses a blooming nature. Several processes happen in his brain

at the moment. Look of understanding, insomnia and realization that it’s a spring in

the middle of winter, intoxicate his mind and he zonks out.


On the other part of the world, people during Sprinter enjoy walking in a

messy watery splish-splashy snow. Weather forecasters describe situations as a tiny

flood, government officials are still not allowing anything, cougars are still looking

for handsome men and the rest of the world act like nothing has every happened.

I’ll leave it up to you to decide whether the discovery of Sprinter was a group

of geeks beating a dead horse or the best thing since sliced bread.